An Interview with Grace Graber: On “Punk x Praise,” Mental Health, and Embracing Authenticity.

Chances are, if you’ve been on social media over the past nine months, you’ve seen a high-energy, checkerboarded clip of Grace Graber asking, “What if _____ went punk?” Those viral videos totally blew up, racking up over 6 million views and launching her latest album, Punk x Praise, Vol 1. Grace has spent the last several years creating a space where faith, mental health, and pop-punk music intertwine. We recently had the privilege of connecting with her over the phone to talk about her story, her music, and her heart for mental health advocacy.

Solid Rock Unplugged: Thanks for joining us. Could you tell us a little bit about your story?

Grace: When I was twelve years old, I was physically and verbally assaulted in middle school by other teenage girls. It got so bad that my parents had to pull me out, put me in another school and then it spread on Myspace. So it was unsafe for me to physically go to any schools in the area growing up. Because I was exposed to a lot of really traumatic topics in middle school, going straight into homeschooling after being exposed to all that and literally having people tell me they wanted me dead, I became extremely suicidal.

One night, I was going to take my own life. Because my parents had taken me to a lot of Christian rock concerts, the night I was going to take my own life, this song got stuck in my head and told me that I wasn’t alone. I believed it that night and I chose to stay. The next day, I looked it up, like ‘What on earth was that song?’ It was “Take Me” by Hawk Nelson.

I just started consuming anything Christian pop punk, Christian rock online. I’ve watched all the video blogs of all the bands. I would literally talk to the posters on my wall, which I think is creepy now as a 30 year old woman. I think that’s really weird! But for me at the time, being thirteen or fourteen, I didn’t really feel like I had any friends or anyone who understood me. Then I’d go to these Christian rock concerts and I’d meet these bands and it was like ‘Oh my gosh, they are so nice to me and they are kind to me, but the people who know me want to hurt me. These people don’t know me.’ I really discovered it was because of Jesus. 

That’s how I discovered who Jesus was for myself. I’d always known who Jesus was, because I was a pastor’s kid. But until I felt it truly demonstrated by people I wanted to be like one day, I didn’t understand the power Jesus had over my life. So it was really Christian rock bands that led me to Christ, that showed me that I wasn’t alone, that showed me I had a purpose and a plan. 

Flash forward, I got to sing with Hawk Nelson at sixteen, so that was the biggest deal of my life! I thought my story was kind of complete there. But now, flash forward again, one of the drummers of Hawk Nelson is in my band. One of my other favorite bands, the lead singer is my manager now. It’s just beyond wild what God can do. Those dreams and the fact that I talked to those posters on the wall, that was never wasted. That was always the plan. It’s just so wild.

So that’s my story, that’s what’s going on. I am incredibly blessed. To be the number one fangirl, front row of all those bands, and then now to be in the front lines is absolutely beyond me. I barely comprehend it. I have to remind myself every single day what a privilege it is, because you can get really consumed in the day to day and then forget. I’m just flabbergasted by the position God has put me in, because it literally could not have been more perfect for me, personally, but I do think it’s a testimony to other people that if you just dream really big and just pursue really hard at your dreams, this is what can happen.

Solid Rock Unplugged: Thanks for sharing, I’m sorry all that happened to you.

Grace: Well, it’s not wasted! So I was diagnosed with PTSD at thirteen, depression, anxiety, you name it. Then when I started music, I got re-diagnosed with PTSD, because I didn’t realize all the stress and pressure, what it could do to a girl, you know? So for me, I’m just incredibly vocal now about the reality of mental health conditions in our daily lives, and how we as Christians, a lot of us have stuff we’re holding on to. I love just being really vocal and honest about my struggles with that, my struggles healing from ADHD. It’s real and it happened to me, but the best part is God’s not wasting any of it.

Solid Rock Unplugged: That leads perfectly into our next question! You’re talking about being vocal about your mental health. How do you think the church could better support those struggling with mental health?

Grace: I think we need to do less trying to fix it and more listening. I think the last thing people want is “Oh, I’ll pray for you” or “Oh, that sucks.” I think a lot of us too many times are trying to talk at the person in the back of the room, but how often are we asking what they’re actually feeling and what they’re thinking and their story and who they are? So I find there’s a lot of power in being able to sit with someone and just be present and consistent. 

I’m noticing that in my personal life. It’s been absolutely hectic, but I have a handful of people who constantly just sat there and listened, right? It’s done wonders for my mental health, because I feel that’s when people actually feel like you care. I feel like we think showing care is trying to offer solutions, but what if showing care is truly asking people what they might think they need or if they just need a listening ear? And then understanding the signs of when you should step it, understanding the signs of when it is a medical emergency or they are suicidal, understanding that’s when we offer solution, that’s when we offer help. 

I’m noticing with teens and young adults, a lot of what they need is just to be heard, to feel seen, to feel like they have a voice. We’re not going to do that if we’re the ones talking all the time. We’re not going to be able to actually hear them. So it’s really important that us as artists, us as the church, just kind of shut up a little bit and listen to what people are trying to say. That sounds aggressive, but this is the truth.

Solid Rock Unplugged: Yeah, I have a history of mental health struggles. Through my teen years, I dealt with depression, dealt with suicide attempts and I remember being in a church where people were judging me. I had people tell me “Oh, you don’t have enough faith.” Fast forward 30 years, I think we finally have people who are stepping up in the church saying they’re willing to shut up and listen.

Grace: Yeah. Well, this isn’t a faith issue, this is a hope issue. People need hope. They need something to believe in. It’s not about the spiritual part of us, I don’t think. Unless you’re being oppressed by demons, which you will know when that happens, you know? That’s when it’s deep, deep, like you can’t control it. I think that’s where churches get it wrong, is they have hyper-spiritualized everything to make it make sense to them. We can’t even make God make sense to us, so why would we make something with our brains try to make sense? We’re not doctors! 

So, who are we to say it’s a faith issue, if we can’t even freaking understand God in the first place? We think we know a lot about the faith issue, but really mental health is a hope issue. People need something to believe in. They need to know it’s going to be okay, that they’ve got it. The way we demonstrate hope is just by showing up and being present in people’s lives. 

My testimony, I hope it gives the next generation hope. You can be a crazy fan girl and now do the thing. I don’t think it was an accident at all. I know it wasn’t an accident! Now all those bands are actively in my life, trying to protect and help me do this. That’s gonna give hope to someone. I can’t take credit for that. I didn’t force these guys to help me, you know? I mean, maybe a little…

Solid Rock Unplugged: What inspired your viral clips of CCM music gone punk?

Grace: Well, I’ve had the idea because there’s a couple secular bands like Loveless and Our Last Night that have done that. They’re literally known for doing that. Loveless would be like, I mean he’s definitely not Christian music so I sparingly mention that, but he would be like “What if it went punk?” He did this version of “Manchild” by Sabrina Carpenter and I died. He didn’t finish it, but I definitely died when I saw the video clip. I just knew I wanted to do something like that. 

The first thing that came to my mind was ‘what if Forrest Frank went punk?’ I know a lot of my friends really are not a fan of his music. So I was like, ‘what if we did something where we made ourselves kind of fans of his music?’ My mindset with this is how do I make myself fans of these really popular songs that I feel like everyone’s sick of? Please don’t cancel me for this! But I feel like “You Say” has been played for a long time and “Gratitude.” 

But what was cool was the Lord was actually really working in my heart when we were doing these songs, because at first it was a joke. I genuinely did not take it seriously. I was like ‘I really am not a huge fan of these songs, so I’m just going to turn them punk and call it as-is.’ But then, it was kind of making it my own. I was starting to believe the lyrics. “You Say,” especially, it was like ‘Oh my gosh, this is so powerful!’ I’m going to eat my own words, everything I said about those songs beforehand, where I kind of made fun of them. Like no, those are powerful songs! Now I’m seeing the Lord using them in my shows and I was wrong! I was wrong. Now that they feel like my own, I feel like I want to defend them. 

While I was going viral for this, I was also in the K-Love building working on a podcast, a mental health podcast. They made me eat my words too! I was told by record execs that I’d never be supported over there if I went pop punk. Flash forward, I get this opportunity last year to share my story. Mid-conversation, I was being interviewed by the VP of Radio. I kind of paused the interview and said “I’m sorry. I’ve had bad thoughts about you guys. I’m sorry that I felt resentment and not accepted by you. And you guys are creating a safe space for me. I’m going to walk away healed from this resentment and have a different perspective.” And then they offered me my own show! Who does that? Like, “Hi, sorry I haven’t really liked you guys” and they’re like “What if we gave you your own show?” 

The Lord, throughout this season with those songs, being at Access More, doing my podcast, the Lord was changing my heart around Christian music. Then he started bringing mentors into my life who were like “I’ve been there and I felt those things about Christian music, but you can’t count it all as bad.” So the last six months have been like Christian boot camp, where it’s like ‘Oh my gosh, I really have to change my heart posture going forward.’ I’m a part of a wonderful legacy. I was a stan first and who am I to think my taste is any better? 

God is moving. He’s actively moving through Christian music and you can’t deny it. Then he shuts you up a little bit and you’re like ‘Okay, I’m going to sit here and just let you move.’ Because obviously, I am sinful. I have a sinful perspective on all of that. I genuinely was trying to make it so bad and I experienced so much rejection. So I just kind of resented it. Then this whole season has been a Damascus moment where the scales are lifted off my eyes and I have a completely different perspective on music as a whole. 

Honestly, me as an artist and a person as a whole as well, I’ve seen God just do too many things these last few months that I prayed for. I wanted that and God just gave it to me, no questions asked. It took a long time to get there! But he just gave me everything I wanted. 

Solid Rock Unplugged: Yeah, we’d see all the videos online. I think you even did one like “What if K-Love went punk?”

Grace: I did multiples of those. What’s funny is no one realizes it, but the whole staff was loving it. It’s just crazy. My goal is that I just want to save lives, like Christian pop punk saved my life. I just want to do that. It doesn’t matter what I do, honestly. If it aligns with the fact that I’m saving lives, that’s all I care about. So the Lord opened up a podcast. Do you think I went out and found a podcast? I did not look for that! It’s like ‘Okay, you opened the door to do this. You opened up the door to do this and this and this.’ All of this is God’s provision. 

I’m screaming it all from the mountaintops, what the Lord is doing, because it’s evidence. It’s evidence that he’s active in this small little genre in Christian music. He didn’t forget or waste any of those bands. They’re all helping me. Most of those guys are not touring anymore. Most of the bands that I love, they’re not touring or in a band. They have families. They’re doing their day-to-day stuff. But nothing was wasted and I’m proof of that.

Solid Rock Unplugged: What has it been like carving out your space as a woman in your genre? Because pop-punk isn’t exactly always a woman-friendly genre! 

Grace: Oh, so hard! Being a girl in this, I’ve literally been told that is the reason why I would probably never make it. Yeah, being a girl. I’ve had a lot of my heroes speak into that since then. They’re like “Honestly, that is the coolest part about you, the fact that you’re a rocker chick.” So it’s been a lot harder because I’m not rock enough for the rock space and I’m not pop enough for the pop space. So I’m just such an in-between. I don’t want to talk myself down, but it has been extra hard because there is no one doing what I’m doing. 

Solid Rock Unplugged: You’ve mentioned the bands that were on your walls. Who are your top musical influences?

Grace: Hawk Nelson was first! Second was Stellar Kart, and the third was Run Kid Run. Yeah, Adam Agee actually manages me now, so he is on the front lines with me. My drummer was in Hawk Nelson, so that’s been really cool. Jon Steingard is around, he’s been one of my mentors I can call up at any point, which is really nice. Capital Lights was really big, Family Force 5.

Solid Rock Unplugged: They’re coming back!

Grace: I’m going to Warped Tour! You best believe I’m going to be front row with my Hulk hands! There’s definitely some more bands, like The Classic Crime was really big for me too. But the main posters on my wall were either Stellar Kart or Hawk Nelson. I had, like, ten of them each. So those were the people that I talked to on my wall. But also it’s kind of iconic that they’re all the people that I call up now. They’ve known my secrets for thirty-plus years now, so there you go!

Solid Rock Unplugged: So how close are we to a Stellar Kart reunion? 

Grace: (laughs loudly) Ask Adam! That’s my official statement. Talk to my manager about that!

Solid Rock Unplugged: What advice would you give your younger self, either about life or music?

Grace: I would say, just lean all in. Lean into the cringe, into the things that you feel like you’ll be judged on. I’ve learned now that I’m 30, I’ve learned people don’t actually care what you are worrying about. They’re not sweating those small details and I think that’s what’s really done well for me on social media and stuff. I’m just leaning all into the outfits and the hair and the makeup that I like. All of those things are just purely what I enjoy and love, and people are drawn to that. They want to like the same things you like and they want to join you in that. 

I’m noticing that with the Hulk hands. I bring the Hulk hands out every show. People freak out! And if they don’t know they’re from Family Force 5, they still love them because it’s different. That’s why I loved them with Family Force 5! That’s who I am. So I would say, just go all in on who you believe God has made you to be. Take it from the cringe front row fan girl! Like, I did that and God gave me an entire career out of it. So, nothing is too cringe!

Solid Rock Unplugged: So you released the new Punk x Praise Vol. 1 album. What’s next?

Grace: No idea! What’s next right now, the podcast is dropping every week through July. I’m kind of in a moment right now. I mean, that Punk x Praise album, six months ago I didn’t know that was happening. This blew up on social media in October and then I had a fan cut me a check a week later to finish the whole project and I had to push all of my music plans out of the way. So I am in utter shock right now. Then I had the podcast happen. In shock! I’m a little stunned.

I’m not sure. There are a few things that are in the works, like a Stellar Kart cover. There are things that are definitely brewing. But right now in May, I just feel like the Lord asked me to be obedient to just not having a plan, which is the first time ever, because I usually have my two years planned. We’ve got a lot of songs. I’ve been writing a lot with Adam. I feel like I have three records worth of songs right now to release, you know. I have an album sitting, I’m just waiting on when. 

But right now the priority is getting that podcast out every week and really just focusing on writing the Punk x Praise. Because I know me, I’ll jump all into the next release and then I will never be able to enjoy it. So right now, it’s just enjoying it. The best part is, you guys, I definitely have stuff. I have masters done and ready to go. I’m prepared. It’s just kind of waiting for some answers.

Check out Grace’s brand new podcast, Breaking Through with Grace Graber on AccessMore, with new episodes dropping every week though July. Follow her on Facebook or Instagram, stream Punk x Praise Vol. 1 on Spotify and catch her this summer on her Mental Health Nights tour or a summer festival near you!